Writing about how to have an affair online has the potential to get me into a lot of trouble.
No doubt some people will take this as me advocating that you should have an affair online.
I’m not.
Let me quickly tell you the background and then I’ll show you the strategy. And then you decide if I’m suggesting you should fool around.
BACKGROUND
I LOVE psychology, I study it all the time. In fact, I did my degree in behavioural psychology, with a major in statistics.
One of my favourite psychologists is Carl Jung. He was something of a pariah at the uni I went to, as all the lecturers were trying desperately to measure behaviours so that they could claim Psychology is a science rather than a humanitarian study…
I believe it’s part art and part science.
Anyway, I study my dreams. They can teach you a lot, and I’ve often had some great ideas, or the inspiration for great ideas from my dreams.
how to have an affair online
So last Saturday I had a dream, and in the dream I used Facebook to find bored housewives who work from home and who would be interested in being seduced.
Now the dream is an analogy for a new business I’m starting, but that’s a theme for another post.
I told my wife Natasha about my dream, and she thought I was repressing the desire to sleep with lots of women. I told my business partner Nicola, and she thought I was nuts to tell my wife! And she thought the strategy was ingenious! So here we are today, with me writing the strategy for you.
Now that you know the background, I want you to know 2 VERY important things:
1. If you are in a loveless relationship you only have yourself to blame – you can get out at anytime; having an affair will not help IMO.
2. This strategy will work for ANYONE you want to find online to connect with.
How to have an affair online
OK lets start with marketing 101:
1. Find out exactly who is your target market
2. Find out their biggest problem
3. Find out where they go online
4. Put an advert in front of them that offers to fix their biggest problem
5. Once you have the click, fulfill their problem
OK that’s very basic marketing 101 (that’s forgotten by 95% of businesses I see).
So as I said, my dream was all about finding bored housewives to sleep with.
So what do we know about them?
- They are at home
- They are bored
- They’re alone during the day
- They want to feel loved
What do you do when you’re bored?
Most people go online and hang out – Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, YouTube etc.
Now we know the answer to question 3 – find out where they go online.
So, now we must place an advert in front of our target market where THEY are online. Not where we want them to be, but where they actually are.
Let’s choose Facebook for now.
OK, now I can target my perfect prospect where she is online.
Let’s delve deeper into my perfect prospect.
Let’s say that you want to go after:
- Women (this would work for guys too, I’m sure)
- Aged between 29 and 36 (whatever age is important to you goes here)
- Who like Yoga (Yoga ladies tend to have nice bodies)
- Who have children between the ages of 4 and 15 (life after kids can be quite unfulfilled for some women)
- Who live in Bondi, Australia (close to me)
- Who are into Fashion (they like to look good)
- Who work from home (they will be home alone during the day for illicit liaisons)
Your targeting would look like this in Facebook:
How To Have An Affair Online
So, with our targeting, we have a pool of 17,200 perfect prospects. REMEMBER I’m using a sexy time example, but what I’m showing you works for anything or anyone.
All that remains to do now is to run a Facebook campaign during the day (school hours) offering them something of value. If this were me I’d take them to a page with a video that had me telling them about my situation and being very blatant. With 17,200 prospects you’d very quickly get some opts ins, so to speak.
So let’s recap our steps…
1. We thought about our perfect prospect
2. We put ourselves into their shoes and worked out their biggest problem that our product / service could solve
3. We found out the whereabouts of where they went online and then we placed our advert in front of them
4. We took them to a page that outlined the benefits and realised that this is a numbers game – some of your prospects will like what you have to sell others won’t
5. Wash rinse and repeat
As I said, this post was inspired by a dream I had. The dream was a metaphor for a business I’m starting, but the marketing principles are solid.
Do you think I’ve gone too far?
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
Neil